The Song Friends Christmas Special
Christmas Eve Gift
To paraphrase, misquote, misconstrue and contradict Tolstoy:
All unhappy families celebrate Christmas alike; each happy family celebrates Christmas in its own way.
My happy family traces our unique holiday tradition back to my grandmother’s childhood in Beaumont. As far as we know, it began at least a century ago in her family’s apartment above the small grocery that her father managed. My grandmother, Ida, and her sisters Imola, Opal, and Pearl and their brother Holly (the only sibling with a pretty girl’s name as he was often reminded when he played football for UT) would wake up as early as possible on the morning BEFORE Christmas and shout “CHRISTMAS EVE GIFT!” to each other and to their parents.
That’s it. That’s the whole game. If you say “Christmas Eve Gift” to someone on Christmas Eve before they say it to you then you theoretically win the right to open a present from them early. But really you win the right to say you won “Christmas Eve Gift” which is A VERY BIG DEAL.
My mom says that when she was a kid, her Uncle Holly would sneak in their house through the back door to “get Christmas Eve Gift” on her and her sister. But then he would give them both a silver dollar even though he had technically “won.”
And a generation later, I would tiptoe downstairs at 12:01 AM on December 24th to wake up my grandparents (who were as sound asleep as two people in their seventies on a hide-a-bed couch could be) and whisper shout “christmas eve gift!!!” into their ears to ensure that my little sister and I would get new Christmas pajamas in the morning.
I was a delightful child.
At the turn of this century, as my grandmother was headed into her nineties, she appointed herself the “league commissioner” of Christmas Eve Gift. She established a few new formal rules to reckon with the latest technologies that we adhere to now even fifteen years after her passing. She declared that whenever possible, an in-person “Christmas Eve Gift!” remains the only acceptable mode. Phone calls (in the actual morning, not at 12:01am) are permitted only across state lines. Answering machine (and now voice mail) messages do NOT count under any circumstances. Nor do text messages or emails (which we’ve since extended to include Tweets, DM’s, Snapchats etc.)
Got it?
And thus the tradition remains intact, though I’m glad my kids are now old enough that I no longer have to “let” them win. Those of you who think of me as that easy going Jay everyone knows and loves would be shocked at how hard and how devious I’m willing to go for CEG victory.
A few years ago I became a little curious as to whether this was as unique to the Brock-Hamic-Knowles clan as we believed or if this was yet another original unoriginal thing that everyone had a version of. So on Christmas Eve morning I texted several of my song friends, “Christmas Eve Gift!” And while they were no doubt thrilled to have their holiday family time interrupted to hear from me, none of them responded with a “dang you got me” or “texts don’t count.” Seems other people really do have Christmas traditions of their own (that I hope you all will share in the comments section, of course.)
The following year I had recently acquired a little Gibson acoustic from the ‘50s (just like my dad’s first “real” guitar) and I spent the week before Christmas learning it by learning to play “Silver Bells” for no reason other than the fact that I was charmed by the lyrics in the second verse… the bunch/crunch rhyme and the phrase “Santa’s big day.” And then on Christmas Eve, I sat down and made a recoding of it into my phone and called it “Christmas Eve Gift.”
Now, as a professional writer (and occasional professional performer) of songs, nothing seems less cool… or less professional (to me) than sending a text of me singing and playing a song I didn’t write to other professional writers performers of songs. But why not, it’s Christmas. I pressed send twenty or so times and a new version of the Christmas Eve Gift tradition was born.
Every year since, I’ve sat down the week before Christmas with my little guitar and learned a new Christmas song. And now the list has expanded to include most everyone I’ve texted in the last year for any purpose other than to inform that, “No I am not looking to sell my home. STOP.” And the people who get a kick out of it seem to get a kick out of it. My newer song friends who are confused by it tend to catch on by the next year. And the people who ignore it, ignore it. That’s fine. It’s Christmas. Why not?
Because it turns out that all of my favorite things about Christmas are the things we do because “It’s Christmas. Why not?” The things that we might hesitate to do any other time of the year because it’s silly or imprudent or uncool. Because it’s Christmas I sit down and re-learn how to play a C#m6 chord. Why Not? Just like because it’s Christmas I’ll eat eleven cookies. Or I’ll pretend someone who cuts me off in traffic did so as a result of my generosity not their assholery. Because it’s Christmas, if I feel like spending a day just looking at but not really reading an entire book or watching only episodes of televisions shows I’ve seen before, I’ll do it. And because it’s Christmas I’ll tell people who already know I love them that I love them. Why not?
But recently I’ve realized that the reason I do all of these things “because it’s Christmas” is not really because it’s Christmas but because when I do them I’m actually a little closer to being the person I wish I was… the person I am always working year-round to become. Christmas just provides an excellent cover story. A chance to be that guy without being THAT guy. I get to eat more sweets. To be sweeter to people. To learn to sing a song I like. To give something I made to folks who might enjoy it. To sit around and do nothing with the people I love except be with the people I love. And to share a little bit more of myself with you in the hopes that you might share a little bit more of yourself with me.
And maybe just maybe some of that sticks. My wish is always that the person I get to be “because it’s Christmas” rubs off at least a little on the person I am once we’re rolling into the new year and the excuse of “why not?” has passed.
And I feel like that is a Christmas message League Commissioner Hamic would approve of… even if it does arrive via email.
Bonus Track. Initially, I learned this one for Christmas Eve Gift 2020 but it seemed a little too dark given the state of the world at the time… so I sent out Blue Christmas instead. But now that everything is wonderful everywhere…
All I want for Christmas Eve Gift is to hear the rest of your version of this song.
I love this so much. As a kid I liked making the Christmas butterball cookies. I continued that tradition with my girls and Erin and I still do it. I think Jeanne never liked it. Erin is coming on Friday to do it and bringing my granddaughter too. Erin’s son came last weekend and did the tree and gingerbread house. In the age of coparenting scheduling can get tricky. I just love hearing about everyone’s traditions. Thank you for making me think back on all mine.